ITS A TRAP! Metaphorically.

 
Do you know the story of Oedipus? Its an old Greek myth written by Sophocles. The story is about a man named Oedipus, who was told from a young age what he was in store for his future, a prophecy that he would kill his father and sleep with his mother.

It haunted him day and night, constantly trying to figure out how he could ever do what the prophecy said he would. The entire kingdom would bother him about it as well, which probably did not help him figure a way to escape the prophecy.

Then one night he hit breaking point when one of his bros turned to him and said: 'Hey! Oedipus buddy, when were you thinking on killing your father and sleeping with your Mother? I have a lot of cheddar riding on the first day of spring!' and Oedipus would be all like 'Dude, it was just a prophecy! I really don’t have any interest in doing ANY of those things. In fact, I so don’t want to do it that I am going to leave this place forever so there is no way it can even accidentally happen! PEACE!” So, Oedipus hit the open road to a new kingdom.

On the way to a new city he ran into some men on the highway. The men were defensive and tried to take Oedipus down because they thought he was going to rob them (even thought he was totally just going to ask for directions) Oedipus was in a bad mod already from earlier and in a fit of rage, Oedipus fought back, killing the three men.

Then all blood soaked he continued to the new city. Where he realized he had killed the king of his new city. 'Well, would you look at that! I killed a king so now I can become king! The guys back home are not going to believe this! PLUS, the current queen is a total babe, so I am also going to claim her and show off to the boys back home!'

A while after this, Oedipus finally contacted his father back home to tell him that he still hasn't killed his father or slept with his mother, but rather taken over a new kingdom and is all awesome and powerful now! This was when his father told him that he was not actually their biological child and that he was found near the city that Oedipus had just taken over. You see where I am going with this?

Oedipus left his home, away from what he thought was his mother and father so he didn’t kill or sleep with them, but it turns out they were not his real parents – one of the three men he killed on the highway was his real father, and the queen was his real mother. They had heard the same prophecy and sent him away so it wouldn’t come true. Both parties tried to avoid the inevitable, but their actions to avoid what they were told would happen was actually what caused these circumstances to happen.

Our generation prophecy is to over pay for an education to which you cannot get a real job from, so you have to get a job you hate that pays well, so you can pay for a wedding, and support all the babies you have just to get them to do the dirty cycle all over again.

I know I got to the breaking point like Oedipus. Unlike most people who would just stick it out and accept the prophecy, I didn’t. I want to fight it. But all the running away is just going to get me so drained to a point where I am going to have to settle into these positions of the prophecy. I hate that. Perhaps I can find a better way, now knowing my actions may be driven to follow the similar metaphorical events of Oedipus.

Growing up is a trap. There is no escaping it. But maybe I can change my future to be more like Rachel Greene instead of Oedipus. Being told by everyone that I am a shoe, when maybe I just want to be a hat! Maybe if I stay on my track of what I want instead of what I am told will happen I will avoid it all, not kill my father or sleep with my mother, followed by becoming a hat instead of a shoe!

All metaphors aside, here is my unfashionable fashion moment of the week:

When contacted by your ex, you can choose how to react to it. You can:

a) Respond with poise, you are confident because you are better then that

b) Give one word answers until they get the information they need

c) Seize the opportunity to confirm your ex's reasoning for not giving you the grand gesture you so desperately needed, and proceed to make a complete ass of yourself for the fifth time before realizing that you are actually the problem. Instead of taking this as a time to learn from this lesson, you don't and drown your sorrows in fast food and whiskey.

I am still digesting in the Sarlacc pit, but at least I have finally come to the conclusion I can start moving away from pathetic romantic attempts. In the brink of my fast food and whiskey hang over, I had finally made a decision that I am going to continue my pursuit in Art History. I love it, and it always accepted me in my pathetic romantic attempts.